


Feels Like Forever

by TicTok



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Car Accident, M/M, Minor Character Death, premature delivery, tagged as requested
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 21:43:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1914882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TicTok/pseuds/TicTok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Geno learns the importance of loving and letting go, and of timing and patience.  </p><p>Letting the ones you love do what is right for them isn't always easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feels Like Forever

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this sitting around since January and the couple people I sent it to had very mixed reviews on it.

Part 1  
January 2014

Geno grins at Sid across the locker room and ducks his head to hide his chuckle when Sid beams back at him. They just beat the Bruins in a shootout, at home in Pittsburgh. The mood in the room is light, Suttsy and Flower are dancing comically, both only half undressed. There's some sort of fast paced music playing. Nealsy is guarding the radio and not letting anyone change it.

After they all shower, things calm down. The excitement and thrill melts away into warm contented happiness. Sid's hair is still damp when he sinks down onto the bench next to Geno.

Sid leans into Geno contentedly and sighs as his head settles against his shoulder. Geno gulps and looks away, glancing around the room as he is slammed with a feeling he can only describe as pure longing. He blinks and wraps an arm around Sid, who leans heavier into his side. Sid is rambling about the game, mentally reviewing it.

Geno misses Sid. It's an odd feeling. It makes him wrinkle his nose and turn his head to hide his face in Sid's soft hair.

“Sid,” Geno murmurs, interrupting his monolog about Neal's amazing pass in overtime that almost ended the game. Sid pauses, listening.

“Come over tonight. Lets go to dinner. Hang out after. Been too long.” Geno closes his eyes as he says the last part. Sid pulls away, smiling and nodding.

When Geno gets home he calls and makes reservations for 8pm at a restaurant he knows Sid takes his dates to. Geno's never been there, but he trusts Sid's taste and makes a reservation for two.

Geno gulps and wipes his hands down the front of his jeans, he likes to wait to get dressed until he is ready to leave. He's nervous. He knows he shouldn’t be. It's Sid. His Sid, who he knows well enough to know that even if Sid does turn him down, he will do it gracefully and it won't come between them for the long run.

His watch beeps 6:30pm, and Geno tries to swallow the lump in his throat. He's so tired of the on and off thing that they've always had. They never put a label on it. They've both dated other people. They've never called each other 'boyfriend' and Geno's sick of it. He is ready to be done dating other people, knowing he will always go back to Sid. He's tired of watching Sid invest months in relationships that never work out. It's been months since the last time they got together. Geno doesn’t even remember how long ago. Sometime last season. He's tired of feeling alone.

Geno's ready to roll over in the morning and wrap his arms around someone. He wants to bump elbows in the morning by the sink while they brush teeth. He wants to tuck his feet around someone's ankles while his drinks his tea in the morning. He wants to have an “our” house. He wants “our” family. And he wants all of that with Sid.

A slow grin spreads across his lips at the thought of “their” kids. He wonders if Sid will want to adopt boys or girls or one of both, or two of each. He imagines waking up in the morning with their kids squished in between them in bed. Sid smiling at him across their little heads (he pictures three), and they are too far apart but just close enough to be perfect.

The doorbell breaks his revere. He shakes himself out of it and goes to answer the door. He's told Sid multiple times that he can just come in, he doesn’t have to ring, but he always does anyway.

Geno opens the door to find Sid standing on the other side. He looks nervous and his hair is combed back. He is wearing a suit jacket over a button up shirt, and a nice belt and pants. Geno looks him up and down and half smiles.

“Suddenly I feel under dressed!” Geno says with a forced laugh. Sid gulps and nods. He's tense. Geno furrows his eyebrows and backs off to let Sid come in.

He brushes by Geno and wrings his fingers together. Geno follows him into the kitchen.

“Sid, what's wrong?” Geno asks, pushing the door closed. Sid won't look at him. Geno reaches for Sid's shoulder, resting his hand there. Sid turns and wraps his arms around Geno so tightly that a whoosh of air is pressed out of his lungs. Geno drapes his arms around Sid's shoulders and tucks his face into his neck.

Sid pulls away all at once, leaving Geno's arms feeling too empty. He instantly takes a half step forward, chasing Sid minutely. Sid turns away and adjusts his jacket.

“I'm going to ask her to marry me.” He says, turning back and smiling so big that his eyes squint up.

And that's- that's not what Geno expected at all. He falters and slumps onto the stool at the counter.

Geno likes to believe that he knows Sid Crosby better than anyone else in the world. Sid is a private guy, and he doesn't kiss and tell. He never has. But when Sid is dating someone he likes, he never shuts up about them. About how great they are. Geno stares at the granite counter top for a moment.

“Geno?” Sid's voice makes him snap his head up. He stares for a second, then drops his gaze back to the counter.

“Who? Who is she?” Geno tries to make his voice steady and not desperate. He's pretty sure he fails.

Sid drops onto the stool next to him, sitting entirely too close for normal friends.

“Cassandra, Cassie. Geno, she's perfect.” Sid gushes. Geno can't look at him. “She likes hockey, and dogs, and she's so pretty Geno, so pretty. She's taller than me!” Sid laughs here, “And she has dark chestnut hair and big green eyes. She speaks Spanish! And French too! She has a teaching degree, she's so smart, Geno!”

Sid pauses to take a breath, and Geno looks up at him. He's staring off across the room.

“She has two daughters. They're 4 and 6 years old, Isabelle and Serena. They're amazing. They're the cutest I've ever seen. They call me dad, Geno.” Sid looks like he's going to cry. But he's smiling so big and Geno knows he's just that happy. He looks over at Geno and melts a little, his shoulders drooping and his face soft and happy.

“Geno, are you happy for me? Do you want to meet her and the girls? What are you doing this weekend? I can bring them over for lunch! Izzy has dance on Saturday afternoon but we could come over before. She's so good at ballet Geno, and she has these frilly little tutus that are adorable. And Serena has tee-ball on Sunday, that will take up most of the day...” He trails off, thinking.

Geno coughs to cover the rasp in his voice and shakes his head.

“I have plans with Nealsy.” He lies uneasily, staring down at the countertop again.

“Oh,” Sid stands up, “Maybe I'll bring them to the rink tomorrow? I want the guys to meet them too. Cassie has been wanting to come watch me practice. And I cant wait to get the girls on skates!” Sid laughs.

Geno pushes himself up from the stool and runs a hand through his hair.

“How long you know this girl, Sid? Isn't it soon to marry? Have kids calling you...Dad?” Geno doesn't want to sound nearly as reproachful as he does.

Sid balks, pulling out of Geno's personal space for the first time since he started talking.

“Geno! It's been 6 months! I know her better than anyone else, and I know I love her and want to marry her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She's perfect, she's the one, Geno.”

Geno sighs and lets the tension out of his shoulders, ducking his head towards his chest. “Okay, Sid. Okay. Want you to be happy.”

“I'm going over there now. To ask her to marry me. Do you want to see the ring?” He's grinning again. Geno's not sure he's ever seen him smile so much.

Geno shakes his head, “No Sid, that's okay. I'm not feeling great. Have a headache.” And at least that's not a lie. He isn't feeling right anymore. It feels like Chara checked him head first into the boards.

Sid looks worried for a moment, but sighs and pulls Geno into another hug. Geno selfishly holds on for dear life, for as long as Sid will let him.

Eventually, Sid pulls away. He beams another smile at Geno. He feels his heart stutter.

“I've gotta go.” Sid says. He hold his fist up, and Geno taps his knuckles against Sid's and closes his eyes when Sid leans in to bump his forehead into Geno's.

He throws his arms around Geno again, still grinning. Geno hesitantly returns the embrace, wrapping his arms around Sid's waist and kissing the top of his shoulder through the fabric of his jacket. It feels like a goodbye kiss.

“I love you, G. You're my best friend.” Sid says quietly. Geno squeezes his eyes shut and pulls away, couging to clear his throat. He glances up at Sid, who is looking at him oddly.

“Yeah. Love you too. Now go, you have someone to see.” Geno can't look Sid in the eye, and swats at him gently, missing completely.

Sid laughs and turns away, calling “See you tomorrow!” as he heads down the hall.

Geno wants to cry. He wants to yell and scream and beat something to a pulp.

Instead he calls and cancels the reservation and takes a bottle of vodka upstairs to his room.

 

Geno doesn't go to practice the next morning. It isn't even optional practice. He just doesn’t go. Bylsma will be livid, and he knows this. He doesn't even get out of bed until almost noon.

When he finally does drag himself out of bed, it's not by choice. James has let himself into the house, which why the fuck did he give him a key? And he is throwing the curtains open and Paulie's chirping, “Wakey Wakey! Sleep at night G!”

Geno has never before wanted to kill Paul, but he considers it fervently when the covers are ripped off of him and a stream of too bright-sunlight stabs him in the face. James takes a running leap and flops on the bed near Geno.

Geno hisses at the sun and rolls away, burying his head under the pillows. Paul pulls them off the bed and dumps them on the floor with the blankets. Geno growls and puts a hand on either side of his head. He feels a bit like his head might explode.

James bounces on the bed and Geno's stomach rolls unpleasantly with each bounce.

“La-zy.” Geno growls, and crawls out of bed. He hobbles to the bathroom and collapses next to the toilet. He's not going to puke. He's not. He hates to puke.

Paul and James come and stand at the bathroom door. They are looking at him with matching disapproving stares.

Geno rests his forehead on the cool porcelain seat and ignores James's snort of disgust.

“G, did you get drunk and skip practice? That isn’t like you.” Paul's voice is calm, and full of concern.

The watch on Geno's wrist beeps 12:00. The beeping drills into his skull, and the silence afterward is a relief. Nealsy scoffs and stomps away.

Paul comes over and squats down next to Geno, examining his face.

“Did something happen? Is your family alright?” Paul asks sincerely. Geno has to smile sadly.

“No. Nothing that bad.” He says somberly his smile disappearing as he sits up and leans back against the wall.

“Then what? Don't lie to me. I'll know if you do.” Paul states dryly. Geno tips his head back against the wall and smiles again, his eyes fluttering shut. Paulie is right, he would know. He's good like that.

He's not sure he can say the words, and falters a few time trying to start.

“Si- Sid. Sid's getting...married.” He scrunches his face up like the words tasted bad and sighs deeply.

“That's great! Isn’t it?” Paul shifts so his legs are stretched out in front of him and rubs wrist absently. Geno wonders if it is hurting him again.

Geno nods resolutely.

“Is great.”

 

Geno finally does meet Cassie and the girls, weeks later. Sid beams at him and his honking laughter fills the rink the day he brings them to practice. Everyone loves them. Geno likes them a lot too.

Sid and Cassie get married in the spring of 2014. It's April, and the weather is perfect, if a little chilly. Geno stands next to Sid as his best man. Taylor cries and so does Dan Bylsma and Sid's mom, and more than half the team. Geno doesn't. He wants to. But he doesn’t let himself. If he starts he will never stop.

Cassie is great. And it makes Geno sick with guilt. Geno wants to hate her and hates himself for feeling that way. She listens thoroughly when people talk to her and has a ready smile for everyone she meets. She's easy to like, and Geno can tell why Sid loves her. She makes Sid so happy. Even through their first argument as a married couple, Sid smiles sadly as he recounts the story of it to Geno. Cassie is an elementary school teacher. Geno hates the resentment he feels towards her because she really is so wonderful. Eventually he grows to genuinely like her, and love her like part of the Penguins family.

The two little girls are polar opposites of each other. Serena, the 4 year old, loves to dance and dresses like a princess everyday. She's quiet and gentle, and loves her uncle Geno. It makes Geno's heart hurt to hold her. She runs to him when ever she sees him and he lifts her up and swings her around, smiling at her anyway. She has softly curled brown hair to match her brown eyes and tanned skin. She loves art, and Geno's fridge is soon covered in drawings and macaroni artwork. Sid's is the same way, but even the cabinets and walls are covered in little framed artworks.

Isabelle is outspoken and expressive, and talks incessantly about everything and nothing. She loves sports and loves when Sid does her hair. She says only he can do it right. This of course, makes Sid glow with happiness. Her hair is dark brown, almost black. It's very curly and generally unruly. She has her mother's big green eyes. Isabelle is an amazing swimmer, and is thrilled when Geno lets her beat him almost every time. She loves animals, and begs her uncle Geno to get another dog, because Sam is 'old and no fun' and mommy and daddy say 'no' to another pet. She tells everyone that she is going to be a vet when she grows up. For Christmas 2014, Geno buys her a child playset of vet tools and laughs with Sid and Cassie when old Geoffrey pouts and sulks while he “saves” him.

In February 2015, Sidney announces at practice that Cassie is pregnant. The guys whoop and holler and slap Sid on the back. Geno hugs Sid and grits out, “Congratulations.”

Sid beams and glows, and Geno goes home and gets very drunk.

Through the whole pregnancy, Geno tries to squash the burgeoning sadness and the jealousy that makes him sick with guilt. Geno thought Sid was happy before, but he's never seen Sid so completely thrilled with his life. Sid goes on and on about how excited he is, and how beautiful Cassie is.

Geno just smiles when Sid talks about the baby. Sid must never notice the smile doesn't reach his eyes, or if he does he never comments.

Whenever Sid get's new ultrasound pictures, he brings them in and flashes them around to everyone who will hold still for five seconds.

Once, he comes in with one of the baby sucking it's thumb. The ultrasound snapshot is grainy, but at this size it is easy to tell what the baby is doing. Sid crowds into Geno's space and leans his head on his shoulder. He holds the picture out in front of them and croons out, “I can't wait to meet him or her.”

Geno nods his agreement and shrugs Sid off. He has to pack for his summer trip to Russia.

 

McKayla Taylor Crosby is born on August 29, 2015. She is 7 pounds, 9 ounces. Geno is purposely in Russia when it happens, even though Sid begged him to come back early to be there when she's born. Geno just can't. He knows he couldn't handle that.

Geno gets a hundred pictures anyway. And Sid calls him in the middle of Russia's nighttime, and bubbles happily into the phone, going on and on about how perfect she is and how great Cassie did. Geno listens silently, and squashes the feeling of jealousy that washes over him.

When Geno gets back to Pittsburgh at the end of the month, he barely has time to set his bags down before Sid and his family are bustling through the door of his house.

Cassie smiles and hugs Geno tightly, while Serena and Izzy hug his waist. Geno kisses Cassie's cheek and then lifts both girls up, one in each arm. Serena starts to cry and presses her face into his shoulder. Izzy bounces in his arm and giggles as she rambles excitedly in an endearing mix of spanish and english. All Geno really picks up is that she won her swim meet the day before and would he please come to her next one and that she is trying to talk her parents into getting her a bunny.

Geno sets the girls down gently. Izzy runs off towards the living room, but Serena lingers, wiping her eyes and hiding her face. Geno fixes her bow and crouches down to adjust her dress. He tells her how pretty she looks and pulls her hands away from her face and makes a silly face at her. She giggles and falls against him. He holds her tightly for a second before patting her back affectionately and redirecting her to go play with her sister.

When she goes, he finally stands up and steps towards Sid and Cassie. They are hunched over the little baby carrier and cooing over the baby inside. Geno hesitates, but returns the smile Cassie gives him.

“She is ready to meet her uncle Geno!” Cassie smiles, and turns the carrier towards him.

McKayla is round and pudgy, and looks soft and perfect for snuggling. Geno absolutely doesn’t tear up even a little bit, although later Sid will tell everyone how he cried.

No, he doesn’t cry, even as Cassie scoops the tiny baby out of the carrier despite her little whiny protests. Cassie deposits the baby in Geno's arms and then, okay, maybe he cries a little.

Her face scrunches unhappily and she wails in dismay as Cassie ushers Geno towards the living room to sit down with her. Geno sinks into the armchair gently, trying not to jostle the baby. She has a tiny pink hat, and a little pink and white outfit with the words Cutie Pie across the chest. Geno can't take his eyes off her.

Sid leans over Geno's shoulder on the back of the lounge chair and giggles in his ear. Geno tries not to cringe away, but shifts a little anyway.

Sid reaches around Geno and pulls the little pink hat off her head, his giggling increasing when Cassie clucks disapprovingly and snatches the hat away from him.

And wow, McKayla is totally bald. She wasn’t bald in the pictures, which Geno says ponderously.

“Nope,” Cassie says with a laugh, “It fell out! The same thing happened to Serena. It will grow back.”

Serena looks up at her name, but quickly goes back to watching the movie Izzy had put in the DVD player.

Geno watches the two older girls as they pass a box of Cheerios back and forth, and snorts. He should have known Izzy would make a beeline for the kitchen.

The baby grunts and whines, before letting out another wail. Her face pulls down into an earnest frown, that makes Geno melt a little. She has Sid's nose, the poor girl. But her eyes are shaped like Cassie's and her full lips look like they could go either way towards Sid's genes or Cassie's. She has the same beautifully tanned skin as Cassie and the older girls.

When she lets out another wail and appears to be determined to cry for real this time, Geno reluctantly hands her over to Cassie.

 

Geno watches the three girls grow over the next 2 years and helps out as much as he can, making himself available whenever they might need him. Birthdays and Christmases come and go, and Sid refuses to let Geno completely spoil them.

He is there when Kayla takes her first wobbly steps at 10 months old, and at Serena's insistence he goes with Sid and Cassie to take her to her first day of school. Izzy wins a trophy for swimming in her age group, and starts talking about wanting to go to the Olympics some day.

Sid is happy, and his game reflects it. Geno loves to see Sid happy, but it becomes nearly impossible to watch Sid raise his family with someone else. When Sid is playing well, the whole team reflects it.

They make it the whole way to the Stanley cup finals in 2016, but end up falling to the Blackhawks in 7 games.

The loss feels like a personal insult, capped off by Cassie being pregnant again. This was supposed to be their year. They were going to win the cup, and Sid was going to have a baby in the cup. It doesn’t happen. They lose the cup, and Cassie is only 6 months along anyway. The cup would have come and gone before the baby was even born.

Geno goes to Russia three days after they lose. Admittedly, he is running away.

He gets a month to sulk and decompress, before he answers an early morning phone call. Geno's whole world falls apart at the sound of Sid sobbing into the phone. He doesn’t make out exactly what happened, but he knows Cassie's been in an accident and 'Geno, she's not okay, she's not!'

The sound of little McKayla screaming in the background jars him into action and sends him leaping out of bed.

Geno leaves a note for his parents and gets on the first plane back to Pittsburgh.

He calls Sid the moment he exits the plane and gets into the waiting taxi. Sid isn’t sobbing this time, but his voice is raw and distant. He jumbles his words and is hard to understand, but he tells Geno the name of the hospital and profusely repeats that Geno didn't have to come, but 'thank you so much.'

Geno arrives at the hospital in the wee hours of Pittsburgh's morning. The sun is just coming up and Geno wishes he had remembered to bring his sunglasses. In all honesty, he hadn’t brought anything with him. He packed a carry on bag with the things he absolutely needed and bolted.

He tells the lady at the desk that he's there to see Sidney and Cassandra Crosby. She nods and smiles sadly. She looks up the floor and room number and tells him, pointing him in the right direction.

On his way, he bumps into Taylor, who throws herself into his arms and sobs thoroughly. He hugs her tightly and kisses the top of her head, fighting tears himself. He's not completely sure what has happened yet, but he can tell it isn’t good. Taylor finally separates from him and leads him to the room. Geno tries not to look into the rooms they pass, but he can't help it. The patients in the rooms they pass all appear to be on life support. Geno's mouth is too dry to swallow the lump in his throat.

Sid is sitting with his head in his hands next to what might be the worst sight Geno has ever seen. Cassie is lying flat on the bed, tubes and wires coming from everywhere. She is surrounded by machines that beep steadily. And one that appears to be breathing for her. Her stomach is rounded, but alarmingly smaller than the last time Geno saw it.

Geno rests his hand on Sid's shoulder, but he doesn’t react to the touch.

“Is...” Geno tears his eyes away to look at Taylor, who is leaned against the wall with her arms crossed and tears flowing down her face.

Geno mouths 'baby?' to Taylor and she sighs, murmuring, “NICU, he's alright. I was going there when I saw you. Mom is with the kids at the house.”

Geno relaxes a little. Taylor crosses the room and collapses into the chair on the other side. Sid hasn't looked up. Geno drags a chair over and sits down next to Sid. He bumps his knee against Sid's and leaves it there when Sid doesn't react. Gently, as carefully as he can, he scoops up Cassie's hand and holds it gingerly. Sid's eyes lock in on their hands as Geno rubs his thumb back and forth on the top of Cassie's hand. Geno has to wipe away his own tears when Sid's eyes well up again.

For the next hour, a pin drop would have sounded like thunder in the silent room, aside from the occasional wet sniff from Sid. It only breaks when a nurse bustles in to check on Cassie's stats. She pauses and introduces herself to Geno, and encourages them to go visit the NICU. Sid shakes his head minutely when Geno rests his hand on his shoulder again.

Taylor sighs heavily and stands up, stretching up onto her toes for a moment, and then reaching out for Geno's hand.

“C'mon.” She says as Geno wraps her smaller hand in his. She gently touches Sid's head and her fingers almost disappear in his hair, which he has let grow out until it curls a little at the ends.

She tugs Geno away and wipes at a tear and she leads him away. They don't talk as they make their way to the NICU. It's on the other side of the hospital; A long walk and an elevator ride up a few floors.

The NICU is a busy place, Geno discovers. There are nurses flitting around checking this and that and clicking information into ipads. There are several hooded bassinets with teeny, tiny babies in them. They are hooked up to monitors and machines too. Some of the infants are alarmingly small, with varying degrees of translucent pale or red skin. Geno's chest clenches and he has to force himself to breath. Many of the incubators have pink or blue bows and names of the babies. Geno tries not to look into all the bassinets.

Taylor talks to the nurse, and tells them they are there to see 'baby boy Crosby.' The nurse nods and smiles that same sad, sympathetic smile the front desk lady gave Geno earlier.

She leads them to the back of the nursery and shows them to a bassinet with a blue bow on the top, and stickers forming 'BABY BOY CROSBY' on one of the ribbon tails.

Geno stifles a gasp when she takes the light blanket off the hood of the bassinet, revealing the tiny infant. Tiny.

The chart says he is 2 pounds, 11 ounces, and 14 inches long. Geno stares, and wraps his arms around Taylor when she folds against his chest to cry. His eyes don't leave the baby even as the nurse inquires their relationship to the baby.

“Aunt...” Taylor says, pulling away and taking the tissues the nurse offers her. When she looks at Geno, he shakes his head.

“Nothing. Friend.” He doesn't let his voice waver with the words, and stamps down how much he wants to say that he's more.

Taylor slaps his chest, with no force behind the blow.

“He's family. Whether he likes it or not.” She says with a small smile, leaning into him again. The nurse nods and moves away when a monitor across the room goes off.

Taylor and Geno are silent as they look at him. He is laying on his tummy, with a foam pad across his eyes and a tube across his upper lip for oxygen. He is under a blue light, to prevent jaundice, Taylor tells him. Geno doesn't know what that is, but he knows he doesn't want this baby to get it.

After a few minutes, a different nurse comes over to them, and asks if they want to hold him. Geno shakes his head, saying no gently. He looks so fragile and tiny, Geno worries that they could lose him if they move him the slightest bit. The nurse assures them that it will be fine, and then hands Taylor an antiseptic pad to wipe across her chest after she scrubs her hands and arms at the sink. The nurse drags over two chairs, facing each other in front of the incubator.

She gingerly lays the baby on Taylor's chest, skin to skin is best, she says. Geno watches, his eyes big as the baby opens his mouth and lets out a tiny squeak of protest. The noise is nothing like the hearty cries Geno is used to hearing from babies.

He settles almost immediately on Taylor. His ear is against her chest, right about where her heart would be the loudest, and his tiny, thin arms are curled tightly against himself.

His head is no bigger than an apple, and his little fist no bigger than the tip of Geno's finger. Taylor starts to cry again, and squeezes her eyes shut. Her gentle sobs disturb the baby, and he whines a little and tries in vain to lift his head.

“Cassie's not going to make it.” Taylor whispers, sniffling. Geno sighs, he was afraid of that. He thinks back to the way Cassie's head was wrapped and the tube going down her mouth to breath for her. It isn't good, and Sid knows it. Geno ducks his head when he remembers Sid's panicked voice over the phone.

“Who called you to come here?” Geno asks softly. Taylor sniffs and glances down at the baby.

“They called her mom, and she called our mom. Mom is back at the house with the girls and Josh. Cassie's mom is flying in from Texas tomorrow, it was the soonest she could. I hope Cassie can hold on until then.” Taylor lays her cheek on the top of the baby's head and sighs heavily.

Geno's only met Josh, Taylor's son, a few times. He knows the girls well enough to know that they are probably tormenting him like crazy. He's an only child, and his father is in the American military. Geno has only met him twice. Once, at Taylor's wedding, and again at the following Christmas when they brought Josh to Pittsburgh the first time.

“What happened?” Geno asks quietly. Taylor shakes her head.

“I don't even know for sure. It was a car accident. A truck plowed into her car head first.” Taylor pauses to take a breath. “She's really hurt. They said she could go at any moment.”

Geno slumps forward, resting his forehead in his hands.

 

Geno spends the night at the hospital with Sid, alternately letting Sid rest his head on his shoulder and wandering down to the NICU to check on the baby. He never bothers the nurses, and doesn't hold the tiny infant. He just peers in at him, watching him breath for a moment before returning to Cassie's room.

In the early morning, Sid finally seems to come out of the daze he has been in and murmurs, “I want to be here for her, when ...it happens. Do you think she knows I'm here?”

Geno's heart constricts and he wraps his arms around Sid the best he can from sitting next to him, and rests his chin on Sid's head.

“Yeah, she does. She know.” Geno sighs out in response.

Cassie's parents arrive in the afternoon, looking exhausted and distressed. Cassie is hanging on, but barely. Geno doesn't speak any Spanish, and they don't have a lot of English, but when he shakes their hands and says “I'm Geno,” They know him immediately and hug him tightly. He has met them a few times, but not often. He met them at the wedding, but tried to make himself scarce at family events they attended. He never wanted to intrude on their time with the Crosby family.

Sid, and Cassie's parents have a discussion privately with the doctors not long after her parents arrive. Taylor has returned by that time, after spending the night at Sid's house with her mother and the kids.

The machines beep steadily in the relative silence of the room. Taylor looks about as strung out and awful as Geno feels. He can only assume he looks the same.

Taylor sighs heavily and rests her head against her knees. The room has a window, and she is curled up on the sill.

Geno stands and stretches out his stiff limbs, his body feeling every minute that he spend in the chair next to Cassie and Sid.

The clock in the room ticks obnoxiously, and Geno has thought more than once that he might ask the nurse to remove it.

The machine breathing for Cassie is rhythmic and steady. Her skin is gradually getting more and more pale. Geno holds her hand gently and carefully rubs his thumb across the exposed skin of her forehead. Just along the edge of the bandage, Geno can see bruising.

When Sid and Cassie's parents return, the doctor asks Geno and Taylor to leave the room. They glance at each other and leave silently, each gently comforting Sid with a brush by him. Geno grazes his shoulder with his hand and sighs as he goes past him.

Taylor leans against Geno as they make their way to the NICU. They don't discuss their destination, but both move on autopilot for the long walk.

The tiny baby is laying on his back now, sucking on a pacifier that looks huge in his mouth. The blue light is turned off for now, and the cover is off his eyes.

“Hi, baby.” Taylor murmurs, resting her fingers against the hood of the incubator. A moment passes before he opens his eyes and blinks blearily at them. His skin is flushed a rosy pink color and his hands are curled loosely at his cheeks. Overall, he looks a lot like a miniature version of Kayla when she was a newborn.

Taylor leans back into Geno's chest for a few moments, both of them just watching him quietly. The nurse bustles around the room monitoring the babies, skirting around Taylor and Geno hurriedly. There is another couple visiting one of the babies. Their baby is significantly larger than baby Crosby, but has a ventilator and feeding tube. She's a pale greyish color that makes Geno worry.

“Is he yours?” The lady asks, too peppy for Geno's liking. Taylor shakes her head and replies, “Our nephew.”  
The lady nods and smiles, turning back to her own baby. Her husband is gently touching their baby's foot. She is in a different sort of incubator, one with holes in the side and gloves going into the side so they can touch her without removing her.

Geno jumps a little when someone leans against his side. Sid's eyes are red and puffy, and his cheeks are wet. Geno wraps an arm around him, Taylor turns towards him and hugs his waist. Geno buries his face in Sid's hair and lets them both crowd against his chest. Sid presses his face into Geno's shoulder, Geno can feel him shaking.

Taylor leans the side of her face against Sid's shoulder and holds him tightly. Geno sighs heavily and shifts so his chin is on the top of Sid's head.

In the bassinet, the baby has turned his head towards them and is staring. Geno knows his eyesight isn’t good enough to actually see them yet, but it is startling anyway.

“Sid, look.” He whispers. Taylor pulls away a little bit and turns to look at the infant. She wipes her eyes and stares at him. His little hands are flexing against the side of his face and he is sucking his pacifier diligently.

After a moment, Sid takes a deep breath and half turns so that he can see the incubator. Sid goes completely still, and matches the baby's intent stare.

Geno backs off a little bit, leaving his arm draped across his shoulders. Taylor has stepped away, and returns with a box of tissues. She takes a couple herself and offers the box to Geno and Sid. Gratefully, Geno takes one. Sid is still transfixed staring.

 

The next few days pass in a blur. There is the funeral to arrange, the girls need an explanation, and more people than Geno can count that pass through the Crosby residence to give their condolences.

The funeral is an especially somber affair. The girls attend the funeral, but only for part of it.

Afterward, Geno goes home with Sid and the girls. The grandparents get the girls set up in the playroom while Sid goes upstairs. Geno trails after him and flops down into an overstuffed chair in Sid's office.

Sid sinks into his desk chair and leans back, tipping the back of his head against the back of his chair. He lets out the biggest sigh Geno has ever heard, and his whole body relaxes for the first time in days.

Later that evening, after all the kids are in bed and all the grandparents have gone to their rooms, Sid comes over to Geno and flops down on the couch next to him. Taylor and her son left that afternoon, a tearful goodbye all around.

Sid leans into Geno and buries his face in the blanket he pulls from the back of the sofa. He cries like Geno has never seen him cry. Not even when his father, Troy, died two years prior. Geno holds him through it and runs his fingers through his hair and just lets him go.

When he stops crying, he is holding the sides of his head, no doubt having a headache.  
“Geno,” He murmurs, “You are the greatest guy I’ve ever known.”

At that, Geno swallows hard and replies, “I love you, Sid.”

Sid nods and curls closer into Geno's side, “Love you, too. I don't know what I'd do without you.”

 

After Cassie's funeral, Sid pulls away from everyone, at least emotionally. He pulls himself together so tightly that Geno's afraid the slightest thing could shatter his resolve.

He goes to the NICU everyday to see the baby, who he names Elliot. He says it is the only boy's name they ever discussed. He hires a nanny. She handles the girls everyday affairs, like school and sports.

Sid is trying really hard to keep things going on a routine and schedule, for the kids sake as much as his own. Sid sends his mom home after only two weeks. Cassie's parents leave the day after she does.

They try to keep visitors in the NICU to a minimum, and prefer that it only be close family members who visit. Sid glares when they try to subtly ask him not to bring guests after he brings Mario and Natalie to see Elliot.

Elliot is growing constantly, but mostly in length. Geno swears that every time he visits the baby has gained an inch. He feels like nothing in his arms though, and it is impossible to find clothes that fit him.

Geno loves to feed him, and visits him everyday, usually over one of his many mealtimes. Sometimes he goes when Sid is there, and sometimes not. Sid and Geno both took the girls in to see him together for the first time. The girls are endlessly fascinated by him, Serena gets it in her head that one day she is going to be a NICU nurse and take care of little babies. Geno hugs her close and tells her she can do anything. She beams at him and bounces around the livingroom at home with her dolls, making 'shh' noises at her sisters.

McKayla is afraid of all the machines in the room, and doesn’t go with them to visit him again. She doesn't really understand what has happened, or that the little baby they are seeing is her brother.

The older girls understand. At least, they understand to a point. They know that their mommy isn't coming home, and that one day soon, their little brother will be coming home.

A month after losing Cassie, the baby is almost ready to come home. He is up to 4 pounds, 10 ounces. He has been eating like a champ, and breathing room air for a week. He is still so tiny, but he is a little chubbier and a lot stronger than he was when he was born.

The day Elliot finally comes home, Geno drives Sid and the three girls to the hospital. The nurses give Sid last minute instructions and help him pack the baby up and strap him into the carseat.

The girls chatter nervously the whole ride home, talking just to fill the silence. Geno looks up in the rearview mirror at the kids and feels waves of sadness and affection rush over him.

When he was younger, he used to imagine scenarios where he and Sid would be driving around with a car full of kids. Sid would be sitting passenger, turning around to look at the kids and laughing.

Now, when he glances to his side, Sid is sitting there with his expression carefully schooled to neutral, and his hands clenched together in his lap. His nails are digging into the backs of his hands.

Geno reaches over and grabs his nearest hand, forcing him to relax his grip. Sid tangles their fingers together and relaxes into the seat. Holding hands while driving sounds like something romantic, but now it doesn't mean anything more than looking out for his best friend.

As always, Geno's life revolves around Sid. Only now it revolves around being there for Sid and his family.

 

Part 2  
March 2020

 

The next few years flash by in a blur. Sid raises his kids, and Geno helps where he can. They win the cup once, they lose Mario, the team falls apart at the seams, and comes back together with mumbled apologies and new teammates.

Geno meets a guy, Ben, in the spring of 2017, and dates him for just shy of 2 years. Geno can see a future ahead of them, one with the kids he desires and the life he feels like he deserves. He comes out to the media, and handles the storm with as much grace as he can. The world is friendlier by now towards same sex relationships, but that doesn't take away the novelty of the first openly homosexual NHL player. Ben is the center of a lot of the attention, and he gently resents it. Things die down after a few weeks, and they are able to continue with their lives.

When Geno starts talking about babies and marriage, and jokes that he isn’t getting any younger, Ben pulls away. When pressed about it, he says that he can't spend his life with someone and have a family with someone who is hung up on a different guy's family. He says he wishes he hadn't let it go on so long already.

It's a hard truth to swallow. Deep down, he knows Ben's right. It doesn't hurt any less to watch him pack up and move out. Geno's an attachment sort of guy. He gets used to certain people being in his life and has a hard time letting them out. His house feels empty and hollow when he goes back to having just one person living in it.

Not long after the last of Ben's things make it out of Geno's house, he starts finding Sid and the kid's things meandering in. It comes to the forefront of his mind when he stumbles down the stairs one morning and ends up on his backside clutching his foot and swearing in two languages.

He glares at Elliot's toy car venomously as he massages the underside of his foot. There is a yellow tutu hanging from the banister of the stairs that he doesn't remember being there yesterday.

Geno feels himself grinning and hauls himself upright. He grabs the car and tosses it in the air, catching it and chuckling slightly.

The front door slams open a few minutes later as Geno is pouring himself a glass of juice. It's an off day, and Geno was really counting on just lounging around. He pauses for a moment, glass half filled with juice.

Sure enough the sounds of Serena and Kayla arguing carry into the kitchen. Izzy stomps into the kitchen and buzzes past Geno. She's yelling and red in the face, upset about something. She's 13 now, a teenager. She scares Geno a little. She is a tidal wave of moods and is loud enough to make a grown man cringe.

Serena and Kayla storm in next, arguing and fighting about something. Kayla has just turned 6, and is really starting to give her sisters a run for their reputation as 'loudest kids in the Penguins family.'

They stop in the middle of the floor, yelling over each other so much that Geno can't make out what they are saying. His eyes widen to saucer size when they turn towards him and start pointing to each other and screaming. Geno's not even sure that they are speaking English. Sam chooses that moment to limp into the room with her tail between her legs and makes a beeline for Geoffrey’s old bed in the corner of the kitchen. She flops down with a groan and stares at the girls, looking infinitely betrayed.

Sid bustles in next, carrying two duffle bags over his shoulder and a screaming Elliot under his other arm. He dumps the duffle bags on the kitchen floor, and Geno barely has time to set down the carton of juice before a shrieking toddler is thrust against his chest.

Sid is flushed red in the face and his hair is askew. His flannel shirt is buttoned incorrectly, and his voice is scratchy when he starts talking rapidly to the girls.

Elliot throws his head back wails at the top of his lungs. Geno re-adjusts his hold on the toddler and shushes him. Times like this always make it hard to believe that Elliot was pre-mature. He kicks and thrashes against Geno's hold for another moment before flopping against his chest dramatically.

He continues to sob and clutches at Geno's bare skin on his shoulders. He leaves wet trails on Geno's skin, and they could be tears or snot or saliva, but likely all three. Geno holds him close anyway and pats his back to soothe him.

Sid sends the girls in opposite directions and then flops down on the stool at Geno's breakfast counter.

“Geno, I swear to God, I'm going to lose my fu- my mind.” He says, scraping his hand through his hair. He's gone just a little grey at the temples, something the team never lets him forget.

Sid massages the sides of his head and closes his eyes. Elliot whines and hiccups miserably, his head heavy on Geno's shoulder. He is turned a little bit so that he can watch his father, and has two fingers in his mouth. His face is soaked with tears and he is still taking choked breaths.

Geno kisses the crown of his head and murmurs comforting nonsense to him. Elliot's other hand finds Geno's necklace and he rubs the pendant between his fingers it absently, still staring at Sid.

“The house has a leak. The whole downstairs is flooded. Like three inches of water.” Sid sighs out, leaning forward to rest his cheek on the counter.

Geno snorts. Of course Sid would pick his house to stay at instead of a hotel. He bounces Elliot a little and asks him if he wants some juice. Elliot nods sadly.

“Okay, we get juice.” Geno says and shifts Elliot to his hip. Geno finishes pouring his own glass of juice before he turns around to get one of the sippy cups down from the cabinet. He cringes a little when Elliot switches which hand's fingers are in his mouth and wraps the arm with a wet hand around his back. The wet fingers come to rest on Geno's shoulder.

“Gross Els!” Geno says with a playful grimace. He settles Elliot on the counter and grabs a paper towel to first dry his shoulder and then wipe Elliot's hands. He fills the cup of juice and pops it into Elliot's hands before he has a chance to get his fingers back into his mouth.

When he looks up Sid is staring at him with a look he can’t quite place. It's gone in a flash, and Sid looks away.

The yelling starts up again in the den, the noise carrying out to the kitchen. Sid groans and hides his face in his hands. Elliot grunts at Geno and lifts his arms up, demanding to be held.

Geno leans back and gives him a look, pretending to be miffed.

“That how you ask for things? Elliot big boy! Ask right!” He smiles and prods Elliot in the belly. Elliot grins sheepishly and looks up at Geno through his eye lashes. Geno pulls the sippy cup out of Elliot's mouth and waits.

“Please? Up?” Elliot asks. His voice is soft, and nothing like the high tone of his sisters. He sounds like Taylor, if anyone. Geno obliges and scoops him up.

The yelling increases, and it sounds like maybe Izzy has joined in.

“Why they like that this morning?” Geno asks, taking a sip of his own juice. Sid shrugs and makes a noise. Geno laughs a little and hugs Elliot close. Elliot is chewing idly at the spout on the sippy cup and has his head tucked under Geno's chin.

“Did you guys eat breakfast?” Geno asks Sid, who shakes his head 'no' and heads off towards the screaming.

Elliot perks up a little and swings his feet excitedly.

“Eat! Eat! Eat! Have 'ancakes?” Elliot has some speech delay, his only lasting effect of his prematurity. He has a slight lisp, which Geno adores.

“Yes, yes. We can have pancakes.” Geno grins, bouncing Elliot and tickling him.

Geno carries Elliot with him to the pantry and sets him in the highchair that he keeps stashed in there. He grabs the pancake mix and pushes Elliot and the highchair out to the kitchen.

Just as Geno is measuring milk for the mix, Kayla shuffles into the kitchen followed by Serena and Sid. Kayla hoists herself up onto a stool and huffs. Geno smirks and goes on about his business. He knows it is only a matter of time before she asks to stir the contents of the bowl.

Serena grumbles, but pulls a backpack out of one of the duffles. She settles at the table with the backpack, producing a folder and a few sheets of homework. Sid shoots an exasperated look at Geno when Izzy barrels past them and up the stairs.

Elliot has forgotten about his juice and dropped the sippy cup to the floor in favor of sucking his two fingers and trying desperately to reach the toy car on the counter. Geno rolls it towards him and pushes the bowl of pancake batter to Kayla.

“You stir, I go get shirt.” He tells her. She lights up and takes the spoon, starting to stir aggressively.

Geno finds Izzy laying in the middle of his bed and pauses a second in surprise. She glances up at him and instantly back down at her phone. She has his covers pulled up to her chest and is reclined against his pillows.

“Hey.” She grunts. The acknowledgment sounds so much like Sid brushing him off that he has to shake his head at it. Izzy might not be biologically Sid's child, but she is Sid's daughter through and through.

Geno goes into his closet and grabs a random maroon thermal. When he returns, Izzy is sitting up with her chin in her palm and her elbow on her knee. She's watching him curiously.

“What?” He asks, looking around exaggeratedly. She giggles and flops backward against his pillows.

“You knew my mom, right?” She gathers her long, curly hair and pulls it over her shoulder, running her fingers through it absently and looking at him with big brown eyes. He nods and sinks down on the edge of the bed, bending his knee and turning to face her.

“What was she like? Dad won't talk about her very often.” Her voice is soft and questioning.

Geno swallows hard. He really isn’t sure it's his place to tell the kids about their mom. He looks down at the comforter and sighs.

“Your dad loved her a lot, misses her a lot. It hurts him to talk about her.” He answers after a beat, carefully choosing his words. To be honest, Sid doesn't really talk about her even to him. He won't talk about the day she was in the accident, or the day she died.

“We go eat breakfast, I talk to your dad, then your sisters and brother and dad go out, and then we talk about her. Okay?” Geno says, patting her knee and standing up.

Izzy huffs and rolls her eyes, but nods her acceptance. She scoots to the edge of the bed and hops down. Geno gasps in outrage and points at her feet.

“You have shoes! Under my blanket!” He gapes and then shakes his head when she laughs. He grabs her shoulders and steers her out of the room while she giggles.

“Crazy kids!” He shouts down the stairs.

 

It isn't until after dinner that Geno can get Sid and the other kids out of the house so he talk with Izzy. She starts in on him as soon as the car pulls away, leaving them alone.

“What was she like? I remember her some, but it's not enough.” She leans on the counter and twirls a lock of her hair around her finger.

“She used to do that.” He says softly, gesturing at her hand. “Really?” Izzy asks, her crooked smile widening. Geno nods and gestures for Izzy to follow him to the living room.  
Izzy has lots of questions. Mostly simple things that Geno can answer easily. The things that really trip him up are when the questions Izzy has about her biological father.

Cassie never spoke about him much. The only things Geno knows are things Sid repeated to him. Geno doesn't even know his name when Izzy asks.

“Why doesn't Dad ever talk about her?” She asks, tilting her head the way Cassie always did when she asked something. Geno looks down at his hands.

“You, and your sisters. You're so much like her. You don't know how much. Your mom was amazing. And funny. And caring. She loved everyone in her life so much. You kids though, you were the center of her whole world. She loved you kids so much.” Geno feels himself tear up and wipes it away quickly. He misses Cassie. He didn't fully understand how much he loved her until after she was gone. He often wishes he had done more to show it while they still had her.

“It makes me so angry that he brushes me off when I ask him.” She wrinkles her nose. “Can you just...tell me about her. Anything. Just talk about her...” Izzy trails off.

Geno recounts story after story about Cassie, especially ones about Cassie and Sid. They end up laughing together over the story of a party Cassie threw for Sid's birthday once, where there was a huge water balloon fight. Geno's not even sure what the funny part of the story is, but it was a great time and he's laughing, so Izzy laughs too.

That's how Sid finds them when he comes in the door with a sleeping kid in each arm and a just as sleepy Serena holds the door for him. Geno glances at the clock, and it's 9:30, which is way past the kids bedtime.

Geno heaves himself off the couch and stretches his arms above his head as he makes his way over to Sid. He takes Kayla from Sid's arm, much to Sid's relief.

The two of them carry Kayla and Elliot up stairs and deposit Kayla on the bed and Elliot in the collapsible crib that appeared in the guestroom at some point. Geno pulls Kayla's shoes off and tucks her under the blankets. She sleeps like a rock, and hasn't once roused through all the movement. She gets that from Sid, Geno is sure. Elliot whines a little in protest as Sid makes soothing noises and pulls his blanket up over him.

Geno brushes Kayla's hair back and gets up, going over to put his hand on Sid's shoulder. Sid pulls away after a moment and backs away. They go into the hall quietly and Sid pushes the door almost closed, leaving a few inch gap.

“How did your...talk...go.” He inquires, shifting his eyes to look at the stairs. Geno shrugs nonchalantly.

“Good. Izzy's smart girl. Has a lot of questions. Good questions.” Geno responds. Sid nods, his eyes still darting around everywhere but Geno.

“Is she still mad at me?” Sid asks, sounding a little too broken.

“Don't think so.” Geno states quietly. Sid lets out a gust of breath and heads down the stairs. Geno follows complacently.

Serena is almost asleep on the couch, and Izzy has disappeared. Sid scoops Serena up, even though she is really too big to be carried to bed. She growls a few words at him in mild protest at being disturbed, but wraps her arms around his neck anyway.

For a moment, Geno is unsure of whether or not he should follow Sid upstairs. Sid peers at him thoughtfully, and nods for him to follow.

When they get close to the second guest room Geno can hear the water in the bathroom running. Geno pulls the covers back on one of the beds and gives Sid a half smile as he sets Serena down. Sid kisses her forehead and motions for Geno to follow him out.

The third bedroom is down the hall a little bit and they have to wait a moment for Izzy to come out of the bathroom. Geno pulls back the blankets on the bed while they wait. Sid turns around towards the door when they hear Izzy open the bathroom door and switch the light off.

Izzy approaches them quietly and wraps her arms around Sid, tucking her face into his chest. Sid threads his fingers into her curls and holds her against him.

“I'm sorry I as being a brat. I love you, Daddy.” She whispers, glancing up at him. Sid crouches down to her level and holds her hands in his.

“It's my fault, baby, not yours. You just...you deserve to know the things you want to. And somethings are really hard for me to talk about. I'm sorry.” Sid replies, his voice gentle and just above a whisper. Geno shifts uncomfortably, feeling like he is witnessing a very private moment. Sid stands up and hugs her one more time before she turns away and bounces up onto the bed.

Sid follows him out of the room and clicks the door shut carefully. An awkward silence rests between them as they stand in the hall.

Geno ducks his head uncomfortably and makes a move towards his own room. Sid stops him by launching himself at Geno's chest.

Geno grunts and holds his arms out at his sides a little in surprise. Sid is holding him very tightly and has his cheek on Geno's shoulder. After a beat, Geno relaxes and wraps his arms around him.

“I love you, Geno.” Sid whispers. Geno gulps and rolls his eyes to the ceiling, fighting the immediate sensation of tears pricking his eyes. What he wouldn’t have given to hear those words so many years ago.

“Love you too, Sid.” He grits the words out, his voice cracking a little on Sid's name.

Sid pulls back minutely and rests his forehead on the side of Geno's neck. Geno knows Sid. Even after all these years he can anticipate the kiss coming before it happens. Everything about him is familiar. The way he feels, the way he smells, the way he moves.

Sid's lips on his sends shivers down his spine and makes his hands tremble when he twines his fingers into Sid's shirt. Geno feels forgotten tingles skitter across the skin of his back as Sid's fingers skim along the back of his shirt. They come to rest at the base of Geno's skull, digging into his hair. Sid grips the strands of hair tightly, seeming to remember that Geno likes that, or maybe he always does that when he kisses, Geno isn't sure.

What Geno is sure of is that it forces him to stifle a moan as he sinks his teeth into Sid's bottom lip gently. He is sure of the waves of desire coming off of Sid and the way that Sid is leaning into him.

Sid brings both hands up to cup Geno's face, warm on his skin, and slides one into Geno's hair above his ear. Geno tips his head back, breaking the kiss and leaning his head into Sid's touch.

When Geno looks down again, Sid's lips are puffy and kissed pink. His eyes are heavily lidded with a look that Geno was sure he would never see directed at him again.

Geno wants. He can tell Sid does too, but he can't stamp down the feeling of wrong that undermines the the pleasurable sparks everywhere Sid's fingers touch.

He leans forward and tightens his hold on Sid's middle. He kisses his lips once more, ignoring Sid's tongue the pokes at his lips, trying to deepen it. He buries his face in Sid's neck, letting out a huge sigh and shaking his head.

Shivers and goosebumps prickle his skin when Sid's mouth finds the exposed skin above his shirt collar. Geno releases his grip on Sid's shirt and slides one hand down to his lower back. He rucks up the fabric slightly to get his fingers on Sid's heated skin.

“Geno,” Sid sighs out. Geno squeezes his eyes and takes a deep breath before pulling back to look at him.

Sid's pupils are blown, and he's trembling like he could fly apart at any moment.

“Please.” Sid murmurs, leaning into Geno's chest. Geno scrapes his fingers lightly over the skin just above Sid's jeans.

He nods slightly and takes Sid's hand, threading their fingers together and pulling Sid back towards his room.

Geno clicks the door shut behind them and turns the lock. He can hear Sid breathing heavily behind him, without even turning around.

Sid appears at his side and presses up against him. Geno can feel the hard swell of Sid's dick at his hip. He turns towards him and palms the bulge once.

“Sid, you’re sure?”

Sid slumps towards hims and nods insistingly.

“Okay.” Geno breathes the word out and catches Sid's lips again. Sid melds against him and brings his arms up to loop around Geno's shoulders.

Geno sucks his bottom lip while his hands travel down Sid's back to cup his ass. Sid groans and throws his head back.

It only takes a few gentle nudges to get Sid's feet to shuffle towards the bed. Geno pulls his shirt up over his head and drops it on the floor, grabbing the hem of Sid's and pulling it up over his head. He drops it unceremoniously on the ground. Sid presses flush against him again, his hot skin making Geno gasp and clutch at his back.

The back of Sid's thighs hit Geno's mattress, snapping him out of his apparent haze. His eyes clear for a few seconds. It's long enough for Geno to hesitate again and say, “Can stop, Sid, don't have to do this.”

Sid shakes his head.

“I want to, I do, really.” He reassures, hooking a finger in one of Geno's beltloops and pulling him closer.

Geno takes a deep breath and pushes him further onto the bed, crawling up to kneel next to him.

Sid hasn’t removed his finger from Geno's beltloop, and he tugs on it to get Geno to shift closer still. Geno obliges and leans down to press his lips against Sid's throat. He drops a few open mouth kisses along the column of soft flesh, making a whine slip past Sid's lips.

Geno lets Sid unbutton his pants, shifting a little to help him reach. He leans up and meets Sid's lips, letting his eyes drift almost closed and sliding his tongue across Sid's.

Geno has to stand up to slid his sweats down off his hips, Sid half chasing his kiss when Geno breaks it. He flops back against the bed and moans approvingly when Geno hovers over him and unsnaps his pants. Geno dips his head and licks a line across Sid's lower belly, grinning when the muscles twitch in response.

Sid's fingers twist in the bed cover as Geno slowly drags his pants down his hips and off his legs. Sid's dick lurches a bit at the room air hitting it and he chokes a little in surprise.

“Geno...” Sid whines desperately, reaching one arm up to wrap around his shoulders. Geno hmm's in response and sinks down a little lower to lick a stripe up Sid's dick.

Sid lets out a noise of surprise and pleasure when Geno flicks his tongue of the head. Sid's hands find Geno's shoulders, one tucking into the hair at the back of his neck, tugging slightly again.

The tug isn’t much besides an acknowledgment that Geno's there and Sid can pull on it. The feeling of gently pulling still makes Geno groan a little as he sucks half of Sid's length into his mouth.

Sid purposely presses into a bruise on the back of Geno's shoulder to get his full attention. Geno's dick twitches between his legs and he moans at the pressure. Sid does it again, harder this time. Geno pulls off, hissing and tilting his head up to look at Sid.

He waits, staring Sid down. Sid sighs and sits up, pulling Geno to do the same. Sid scoots as close as he can and sits in Geno's spread legs, draping a thigh over each of Geno's legs.

Sid leans in and resumes kissing like he's starved. He wraps his hands around both their cocks and jerks them both at once. It's too fast and hard for Geno to get off on it but he lets Sid go, enjoying the way Sid's lips slide over his own.

After a few moments Geno wraps his fingers around Sid's wrist to stop his movements. Sid breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against Geno's, his panted breaths puffing across Geno's face.

“Fuck me, Sid?” Geno means for it to be a statement, a demand even, but it comes out as a whispered plea.

Sid nods and presses a series of quick kisses to Geno's lips. Geno's reluctant to move, but shimmies out from under Sid's legs anyway. He has lube and condoms in his dresser drawer across the room.

He can feel Sid's eyes tracking him as he makes his way over to the dresser, and glances back over his shoulder. At Sid's heated gaze he grins and ducks his head to rummage through the drawer.

Sid is still staring at him intently when he returns and hands the tube and package over.

“What?” Geno complains, climbing up on to the bed and reclining against the headboard. Sid shrugs and rolls over. He settles cross-legged on the left side of the bed and drops the condom package and lube into his lap. Geno watches as Sid shifts around for a moment, almost nervously.

“Sid sure?” Geno inquires at the hesitation. Sid takes a deep breath and nods.

“Definitely. It's just been...a while.” Sid leaves it at that and grabs a pillow. He drops it in front of himself and gestures for Geno to come closer. Geno lifts his hips and lets Sid wedge the pillow under them.

Sid smiles weakly at Geno and uncaps the lube, pouring it generously over his fingers. Geno sighs, leans back, and tries to force himself to be more relaxed.

He jumps a tiny bit when Sid's blunt index finger presses against him. Sid wraps his free hand around Geno's dick and strokes earnestly.

It takes several minutes, but eventually Geno is gasping and squirming alternately towards and away from the three fingers pressing into him and rolling over his prostate.

When Geno looks down the length of his body at Sid, his pupils are blown and his mouth is hanging upon.

“Ready?” Sid asks, punctuating the question with a squeeze of Geno's dick and a slow drag over the sensitive nub inside him. Geno feels heat creep up his spine and nods affirmatively.

Sid is red all over, from his cheeks down to his belly button. Geno knows the blush has spread down his back too, if he cared to investigate.

The bed shifts as Sid goes up on his knees. Geno sighs at the loss of stimulation and lets his eyes slip closed. He doesn’t react when he hears the condom tear open, or when it takes Sid a moment to put it on himself. He finally does open his eyes in time to see Sid spreading more lube down his erection and share a little grin with him.

Sid presses one of Geno's legs up, catching him under the knee and pressing the top of Geno's thigh into his stomach. Geno throws his head back and groans as Sid presses into him.

Once he's fully inside, he catches his other hand under Geno's knee and presses both legs up into Geno, effectively folding him up. Geno gasps at Sid's first thrust, dissolving into breathy moans after that.

Geno's eyes roll a little when he gets a hand on himself. Sid makes low 'oh' noises that Geno had forgotten about, and is surprised by how much he missed them. He runs one hand along Sid's shoulders and then cups the back of his neck, holding on loosely.

Sid re-adjusts his grip on Geno's legs, pressing them harder into Geno's chest. He changes his angle a bit, sending sparks up Geno's lower back that settle in his stomach. Geno can't breathe well enough in this position to do much more than rumble approvingly at each thrust.

Sid comes with a particularly deep stroke into Geno and releases his legs all at once. Geno sighs at the sudden change of position and starts to jerk himself faster. Sid leans forward, resting his elbows on either side of Geno's head. He tucks his face into Geno's throat for a moment, catching up on his breath.

Geno shifts a little, subtly encouraging Sid to slip out of him. Sid does, but immediately latches his lips on Geno's earlobe. Geno shivers at the contact and grits his teeth at the pleasurable heat coiling in his lower stomach.

“Sid,” He gasps, as Sid scrapes his teeth along the tender skin of his earlobe. Sid reaches one hand down between them and bats Geno's hand away. He seems to remember exactly the way Geno likes this part, and brings him off in only a few quick motions. Geno shudders through his orgasm, clinging to Sid's back.

Sid lets Geno cling for a moment, but then pulls away and gets off the bed. Geno can hears the sink running in the bathroom, and gets up to join him.

Geno turns on his bathtub and lets it fill with warm water. The muscles in his lower back ache from the position he held for so long. Geno cringes a little as he presses his palms into the small of his back and tries to work the tension out. He feels acutely aware of the way his body is wearing out from years of a physical sport. He used to be able to fuck like that multiple times a day, now he feels strung out and tense after just one go.

He feels Sid wrap his arms around his middle and arches an eyebrow, cocking his head to look over his shoulder. Sid is grinning, and presses a wet, sucking kiss to the back of his shoulder. Geno makes a face in mock disgust over his shoulder and turns to face him.

“Bleh, Sid slime.” He taunts playfully.  Sid laughs, an awful honking sound that make's Geno's heart flutter.

“Is good to hear you laugh.” He murmurs, leaning down to kiss the corner of Sid's mouth.

Sid's smile falters instantly. Geno presses a few apologetic kisses on his face, still lingering on the fact that he's allowed to touch and kiss him at all.

Sid lets out a shaky breath and leans against Geno, hugging him close. Geno encircles him in his arms and lets him hold on until the tub starts looking like it may get too full.

They separate at the same time, both predicting the other's movements. Geno turns the water off and steps into the huge tub, grabbing Sid's hand and tugging him in too.

Geno sits down with a groan, splashing at Sid's legs when he doesn't sit right away. Sid rolls his eyes but sinks into the water, leaning back against the opposite end of the tub. His legs tangle with Geno's comfortably.

They relax for a few minutes, until Geno starts shifting nervously.

“We...Are we...” Geno trails off, humming contemplatively and trying to decide how to word the question. Sid takes a long suffering sigh and stares off at a spot above Geno's head.

“No,” Sid starts, shaking his head and dropping his gaze to his hands. “No, its not the right time, I'm not...I'm not ready, yet.”

Sid looks Geno in the eye. Geno lets his shoulders slump and nods, looking down at his own hands in his lap.

“Okay. Okay, Sid. You tell me when is the right time. I will wait.” Geno murmurs, not looking up.

2022

The two years later, Geno takes a bad hit along the boards early in the year. He falls awkwardly with another player coming down on his leg, and immediately has to bite back the yell of pain that threatens to erupt from his throat. Geno's not positive who hit him, the fire radiating from his knee overwhelming him.

There are whistles being blown and yelling all around. Geno wants to clutch at his knee but it sends waves of agony shooting up and down his leg. Sid's at his side in an instant, yelling for a trainer. Someone else appears at his other side and Geno can only assume it's the trainer.

Geno can't think anything to answer the trainer's questions beyond, “My leg, fuck, my leg!”

A steady beeping wakes him up. He rouses slowly, feeling completely out of it. He thinks he hears Sid's voice, and maybe Beau's too, but he can't be sure.

He tries to open his eyes but they feel heavy. His world spins sickeningly for a moment, and he's afraid he might puke.

“Geno? Can you hear me, buddy?” That's Beau. Geno feels relatively confident at that conclusion.

Someone grabs his hand and squeezes. It feels like Sid's hand, but he's not sure.

A voice he doesn't recognize starts talking next, causing a stabbing headache and grating on his nerves. He wants to wake up and know what happened to him, but he can't stay awake. Just as he is drifting off he feels fingers graze his forehead gently.

The second time he wakes up, his internal clock tells him that its much later than it was when he fell asleep.

He cracks his eyes open, and the room is almost totally dark, and blessedly quiet. He rolls his head to the side and groans lowly at the pain that shoots up his neck at the movement.

“Geno?” A chair scrapes across the floor and he feels a cool hand settle on his forearm. “Are you awake?”

Geno flutters his eyes and tries hard to focus on Sid's face. They've got him on the heavy drugs though, and his eyes won't focus or stay open.

“Do you need some water?” Sid's voice sounds distant, but Geno tries to nod. He thinks his head might just list to the side, but hopefully he got the motion correctly.

He must have, because a straw touches his lips a moment later. Swallowing hurts. Trying to speak hurts.

He tries to ask what happened, but ends up garbling his words so badly that even he doesn't know what he said. Sid strokes his hand down the side of Geno's face and murmurs, “Go back to sleep. The doctors will be in to see you in the morning.”

Geno can't do anything except just that; Fall asleep.

The next time Geno wakes up, the sun is filling the room and so is the chatter of kids. He recognizes their voices and wants to smile, but his muscles won't cooperate.

When he opens his eyes Sid is sitting in a chair to his left, with Elliot perched in his lap. McKayla is on the floor, her jeans bunched up around her knees and attempting to tie her shoes.

“It isn’t working!” She snaps, glaring up at Sid. “Geno!” She gasps when she sees him looking at her. Sid's head whips towards him and Geno suddenly has five faces leaning over him. Elliot starts to cry and reaches for Geno

“Deno, Deno, Deno, Deno.” He chants sadly, squirming in Sid's arms. He's almost 6 now, but his speech impairment is becoming more prominent as he gets older. It's something Sid worries over endlessly, but Geno just finds cute.

Geno tries to lift his arm to reach for Elliot, but hisses when he pulls on an IV accidentally. Sid goes around to the other side of the bed and pushes Elliot into Izzy's arms.

“Iz, take your brother, why don't you all go down to the cafe and get some breakfast?” He says, nodding and ushering the 4 of them out of the room.  All four of them immediately start protesting and resisting, Sid shoos them out and clicks the door shut despite their grumbling.  He pages the the doctor without turning to look at Geno.

“Sid,” Geno croaks. Sid is by his side in an instant, looking at him full of worry. Geno looks at the cup of water on the stand next to the hospital bed, hoping Sid will get the hint. He does.

Geno sips cautiously, his throat feeling sandpapery from having been so dry.

“What happened?” Geno rasps. Sid sighs, scratching the side of his head. The grey spots at his temples have spread down a little, and Sid often touches them self consciously. Geno smirks a little.

“The doctor will be in to talk to you about it soon.” Sid murmurs, sinking into the chair next to the bed.

Geno feels like he should be in pain, but he really can't feel anything at all. That is more concerning than if he did hurt. They are blocking it completely, which scares him a little.

“Siiid...” Geno whines, closing his eyes. He wants to know what's wrong immediately, not have to wait for a doctor.

The doctor comes in a moment later, smiling brightly at him. She's short and plump and has a bubbly disposition. Geno instantly likes her because she takes out his IV, which is itching and bothering him.

She explains that he has a compound fracture of his tibia, and has torn basically everything in his knee. Geno groans and mutters, “How long till I can play?”

She goes quiet, worrying Geno immensely. Finally she says, “Well, you'll be out this season. At least.”

Geno stills for a moment, balling his fists up nervously. He was planning to retire at the end of next season, when his contract was up.

“That sound a lot like, 'You done for good, bud.'” He says, adding a disbelieving chuckle. She stares at him for a moment, “I don't want to give you false hope. Your leg may never be strong enough for you to play professionally again.”

Geno squeezes his eyes shut, rejecting the possibility completely. He nods anyway, and thanks her for coming to talk to him.

“What do you think, Sid. Am I coming back?” Geno asks once she leaves. Sid is silent next to him.

He coughs into his fist and says, “Well... I hope so.” He shakes his head and slumps his shoulders. “I saw your x-rays, G, it doesn't look good for a comeback.”

Geno is released from the hospital 3 days later. At Sid's insistence, he lets himself be set up in the downstairs guest room at their house. It makes sense. Geno can't do stairs, and he would have to at his own home.

His only other options were a rehab facility, or the guest bedroom at Paul and Neal's house. Their house is the only one besides Sid's that has a bedroom on the ground floor. After James got traded back to Pittsburgh, they finally got their shit together and admitted to themselves and everyone else that they were a couple. They've got a little boy now. Geno hasn't met him yet, but he's seen pictures. He's a handsome little devil. He's only two years old and is still having trouble adjusting to life in a family rather than a crowded orphanage in China. Paul and Nealsy have enough to deal with, without Geno underfoot as well.

The girls fawn over him, constantly asking him if he needs this or that, offering to get him things. It's sweet, in a way, but he really just wants left alone to sulk. He's not used to needing help for things, and it really gets under his skin that he can't do the simplest tasks for himself.

Sid and Geno's relationship starts to shift into a romantic territory slowly, until Geno cringes and drags his heels at the thought of moving back home. He still feels like a burden though, and wants to go home as soon as he can manage the stairs.

Geno eventually reluctantly agrees to move in permanently, after Sid gets Elliot to ask him to stay.

“Tell your Daddy that he doesn’t play fair.” He tells Elliot after he agrees. Sid is standing in the doorway peeking in, and Geno makes eye contact for a moment over the top of Elliot's head.

Sid's nanny quits a few months after Geno's house sells. Sid about goes crazy looking for a new one. He interviews a few, but can't seem pick anyone.

On this particular afternoon they are standing in the kitchen with Geno sipping a mug of tea and Sid pouring over a stack of resumes and profiles from a nanny service. Geno watches Sid struggle and listens to him complain for forty-five minutes before Geno finally just scowls at him and says, “Don't get new nanny. I'll be nanny.”

Sid laughs out loud at that, and tells him a guy nanny is a 'manny.' Geno snorts and hobbles over to Sid, setting his crutches down and leaning heavily into Sid's side.

The kids are at various lessons and activities, and the house is quiet. It's an odd day that all their schedules line up for the kids to all be gone at once.

Sid turns towards him and wraps him in a hug. Geno smiles into his shoulder and drapes his arms around his body.

“Geno,” Sid starts, pausing to collect his thoughts. Geno hums questioningly and pulls back a bit to look at Sid. Sid presses their lips together and sucks Geno's bottom one gently. Geno lets his eyes fall closed to enjoy it.

Sid tips their foreheads together when he breaks the kiss, looking Geno in the eyes. He brings a hand up and presses his thumb against the corner of Geno's eye, tracing the crinkled lines carefully.

“I'm in love with you, Geno.” He says quietly, sinking his fingers into Geno's dark hair.

Geno nods, “Love you too, Sid.”

Sid shakes his head slowly, pulling back.

“No, I'm _in love_ with you.” He clarifies. Geno sucks in a breath and squeezes his eyes closed.

“You ready to say that?” He whispers, “Don't say it if you aren't ready.  I will always wait, if you aren’t sure.” 

Geno opens his eyes slowly, lifting his head to look at Sid's face properly when Sid nods and starts to speak. 

“I'm ready. I'm sure.”  



End file.
